i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
got weed?
I'm really tired of you accidentally texting me when your doing illegal things. I'm taking away your phone.
sorry mom...
He gave me an orgasm with his left hand...and he's right handed. Of course he's a keeper.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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