I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
Randomize
