also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
Let me make this really simple. We woke up this morning and fucked three times. When I got up and took a shower she cleaned up the mess from last night and did the dishes. Then we went out and she bought me brunch. I don't give a FUCK how much you don't like her.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
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She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
I just laid my head on this pillow and I smelt your penis. It was comforting.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
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Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
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