Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I just want a sensitive guy who will get drunk with me then take me out to steal things. Is that too much to ask?
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
This girl braided my pubes while i was asleep. Now i cant get them undone.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
Opened the browser on my phone to a web search for midget birth rates per capita. A good night.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
