Made out with some random "plus sized" young lady. She let me kiss her boobies. It was like I was 6 months old again.
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
Randomize
