I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
we're making bets on your personal life
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Randomize
