what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
I was under the impression that I sent actual words. turns out it was a series of letters and question marks on a side note we still had sex
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
I should have known I was in trouble when you started pouring shots all over me
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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