My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
he was so drunk I had to hold him up and he started crying when he heard an ambulance siren and said "is that for me?"
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
