no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
I have hit nutritional rock bottom I am spreading peanut butter on to lays potato chips
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
You just kept yelling and saying, "IM NOT GOING TO STOP YELLING UNTIL YOU TAKE THAT SHOT"
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
