I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
I smell like cowboy sweat. I got two lap dances. This is the best day of my life!
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
