It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize
