What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i may or may not be watching the land before time
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
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