I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
But no. So do not give him one damn penny. Unless they are in a sock and you are hitting him with it.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
