new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
Life lesson: if you fart while talking to a girl outside, the smell does not dissipate, it just lingers around mocking you
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
Randomize
