is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
Saw the Peanut butter guy at checkout he had at least 30 containers of it and like 6 different kinds...
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
Randomize
