So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Hahahaha .. If it makes you feel better I had a sex dream about a cheeseburger last night so I feel like we both lose.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
