adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Unintentional and slightly frustrating adventures are basically all I'm good for. Expect heart palpitations, cheap food, and homeless men serenading us.
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Randomize
