Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
Haha she couldn't find her dress in the morning. So she left it. How do the hell do I discreetly return that to her at work. More importantly, how did she discreetly do the walk of shame??
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
Hurry there's a dancing lesbian. She's a jumper and has impeccable jazz hands.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
My vibrator turned on under my pillow when I was taking a nap this morning... I nearly shit my pants.
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