You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
