Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
A man in a black on black escalade pulled up next to me, and told me he was sent to pick me up by you.
His name is Tyreece. He will take you to the weed emporium, population me.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
I need to find a more reliable booty-call so I can start dating people and take it slow.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
he's trapped himself under a bed and is screaming at a robot dog to give him a blowjob
Randomize
