after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
He kissed a someone with a penis
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
