the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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