I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
his teacher called to say he gave a girl on the playground a rock to touch his penis. proudest moment of my fatherhood
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
