hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
