I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I want to figure out a way to work "if you suddenly die, I might turn into an extreme hoarders" into my valentines day poem
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
Randomize