like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
the last guy with this job had a bookshelf fall on him. He's in the Er. Im high and they gave me his shift. How do you think i feel?
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
