I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
He stopped his car in the middle of ongoing traffic to ask me to marry him. Then he got pulled over. Yeah I'd say the slutty Dallas Cowboys costume was a success.
Your hotness may or may not have landed him in jail.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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