its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
I'm sure we could make a ball of yarn and a nickel into a drinking game
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
You are a genius and a whore.
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