Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
babies were throwing up all over the place
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
They have chocolate covered tequila candy at work. This is not a drill. May be drunk by noon.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
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