i just discovered how you can fold down the cardboard sleeve on a hot pocket. Life just got a whole lot easier.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
Randomize
