my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
I just set the shake weight record at the bar. 20 mins of that crap and drinking beer through a straw will get the job done. I also bet the bartender 100 bucks I could go shot for shot with him. The date for that event is TBA.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
At the start of the night I was all 'come at me universe' and three hours later I was ordering an extra large pizza in bed in the dress I had gone out in. Well played universe.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
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