Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
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