this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
She can't really be mad at me. I made you two sisters... Dick sisters.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
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