WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
she gave me a ride on the back of her motor scooter and i swooned so hard
omg it's like all of your grease 2 fantasies come true i'm so happy for you
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
