I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I may or may not have puked in the ladies room. Now I get to convince my client to go to substance abuse treatment. Oh, the irony.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
