Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
High-fiving last weekend's hook up in passing on the way to class has given me quite the lady boner.
It's so Britney 2007, you know?
Sooooo have your ex-girl console you over your ex ex girl that you destroyed said ex-girl over the possibility of
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
