Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Randomize
