it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Randomize