The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
Help. Why am I so naked?
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