I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
My phone really needs to stop auto correcting "library" to "ovary".
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You rubbed a frozen pizza in my face. The concerning part was that it was semi cooked from our body heat
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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