accomplished twins. life is a go
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
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