he's chasing his jose cuervo with hot tub water
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Randomize
