so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
Randomize
