Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
i was just outside smoking and i saw a hooker sing "i wish i knew who your daddy was" to her new born baby. someone explain to me why i ever left chicago to go to college...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
We had to coat check the pizza.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
The power of the half flaccid cock, and to think, I thought I was just playing accordion in front of her Vagina!
Randomize
