we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
