would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
The upside of a losing football weekend is that there are more sad frat boys willing to let loose their inner gay man.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
the sex is SO much better when he thinks im going insane
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
