I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
He left an unopened 12 pack of beer by my bed. I guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex..
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
you know you're a stoner girl when you get a callus from your grinder
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
It's so weird fucking this kids aunt then going to the gym with him everyday, but my sick minded self loves it.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
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