i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize