well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
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Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
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Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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