Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
All i really wanna do tonight is get drunk with you and dance on tables. is that too much to ask?
I woke up in a poorly constructed blanket fort on a strange office floor covered in rug burns and champagne. How was your night?
Did I seriously kick a door down last night... And if so when where and how hard, cause that shit I do not recall.
My penis needs a shock collar
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
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