I want to make a zoo with you.
You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Oh wait looks like my cousin is getting deported THERE'S HOPE FOR THIS CHRISTMAS YET
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
Randomize
