Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
And he came by and picked me up. We cuddled in his car then had sex until... an officer doing his rounds put a spotlight on crazy haired, naked me straddling him.
Like he was inside me when I made eye contact with a police man.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
