My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
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there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
i'm eating pizza lunchables and telling my boyfriend he can do better than me because i am a functional adult
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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