Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
