I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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