if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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