I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
when I walked in the door they were passed out naked, on top of eachother, with tetris controllers in their hands.
Randomize
