im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he's the only person i know who can drink himself into and out of alcohol poisoning.
I just put my hair into this ponytail & it looks hideous & really cool at the same time. I am dedicating it to the hangover I have
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
How does one acquire holy water?
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
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