My underwear smells like fireworks.
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
We have a nice shopping list..vibrators and roller blades
Priorities
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
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