Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
