I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I can only be a whore so many days outta the week.
Samesies
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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